When did we Start Seeing Children as Dream and Success Inhibitors?

I am currently pregnant with my 14th baby (on earth). While a vast majority of the people in my life are very supportive and loving in their response to my decision to welcome another child into our family, I can’t help but feel the sting from cutting remarks made about other women who have also chosen to be open to life.

When Judge Amy Coney Barrett was nominated to the Supreme Court, her large family and her authentic Catholic faith turned her into an open target. This was especially because her life lies in perfect defiance of the feminist narrative that tells us that motherhood renders you a slave in the service to your children and husband, and will strip you of any hope of achieving your own goals and dreams.

At the 2020 Golden Globe awards, actress Michelle Williams loudly proclaimed this line of thought, as she asserted that her own success would have been hindered without the option to terminate her unborn children - as though a baby would be a barrier to true success.

I remember long ago, I was hit with an uncomfortable question.

I had been a theatre major in college. One of my fellow classmates had become an A-list actor, and was starring in a major film. One day, I was walking in a mall parking lot with my father. We both looked up at a huge billboard featuring my former schoolmate locked in a passionate embrace with her co-star, advertising the film’s upcoming release. I had recently had my 2nd child... one year and a day after having had my first. My dad pointed to the sign and teased, “Any regrets? You could have done this instead.” I winced. It was a question that had been put to me by others and I had already grown weary of the lie that children are somehow a hindrance to greater accomplishments. In my heart, I had always felt that they would be, by far, my greatest adventure, and motherhood: my highest asset in my hope to become a saint.

I am convinced that the refinement of parenthood, with its potential to stretch us beyond anything we would have believed possible, is the primer for success. I have become a canvas, stretched and primed through the challenges, sacrifices, and gifts of motherhood. My children are my muses: my inspiration. They are also my reminder that I am completely reliant on God’s grace, moved by His promptings. His gentle push is often pronounced through the provocation of my pint-sized offspring, and have become the strokes of paint, creating something more beautiful than I could ever have imagined.    

If I have had any worldly success at all, it has been through embracing, not resisting, my vocation.

I published my first children’s book a month after I gave birth to my 7th child. My second book, a month after my 8th, and yet another released a few months after having twins. Last year, my first novel was sent to print the same week I gave birth to my 13th baby, and NEXT WEEK, my next novel will be launched around the same time I’m due to deliver our 14th little one. This is not to boast of any exceptional ability or goodness on my part, but is a testament to God’s faithfulness to us through our vocation as parents. 

It is often God who plants the dreams in our hearts and it is His joy to exceed our expectations in bringing those dreams to fruition. Our yes, gives full reign to the Divine Artist, and He will do great things in our lives - through our vocation, not in spite of it.